seidskratti: Nothing is static, everything is evolving, everything is falling apart. (Default)
Well.. uh. got my driver's license, went back to school, got on psych meds and things.

Other than that, I've pretty much been screwing my life up as usual.

Wrote some drabbles tonight, though. Toying with a new setting. Fishing. Rooftop.

seidskratti: family in gasmasks (Family)
Busy day. Monika (my pseudo-aunt, a nurse anesthetist who's originally from Germany), my mother and I are cleaning out my parents' "junk room." It's an adventure. I also got to show off my skillz driving on muddy back roads and finished my application for the local college this fall.

The rest of this week, I likely won't slow down. Which is probably good, but it means I won't be around online much.

I think I've got an idea of what I want to do with my life, finally. Hopefully that will help.

Last night, was absolutely incredible in a way that's hard for me to really explain. We talked quite a bit in the car on the way home from Panama City, and some of the things said struck me in a really profound way and things I'd been mulling over in the back of my head sorta clicked. Then I spent most of the night (from 10-something pm until around 3:30am) sitting at the kitchen table talking to Monika. I was a lot more open than I've been in a very long time, and I admitted some things aloud and I ended up crying in this weird mixture of fear, joy, regret, and utter, complete longing over what my big goals in life are, because I know I could have achieved them at one point, and I might be able to, still, but it's going to take a hell of a lot of work.

Pretty cathartic, and I was pretty exhausted today because of it. I'm not daunted, really, just... wary. Very afraid to put faith in myself when I've gotten depressed and self-sabotaged so often before.

We'll see.

seidskratti: I can see beauty where others see ugliness. That either makes me an artist, or a person of very poor taste. --Anonymous (Beauty)
Well. I haven't been on much lately, but stuff's going pretty well. I did indeed get a car (2001 Ford Focus. It runs well, at least.) but I still haven't gotten my license. :P

My pseudo-aunt Monika visited with her grandkids this week and just left this morning. I found that surprisingly, I actually got along with the kids, and they made me happy. I don't want to be a parent, I don't think, but I just might like to steal someone else's kids to corrupt sometimes.

In other news, I got invited to submit a story to an anthology that might be in the works. Who knew that Internet gaming would be such valuable networking for the writing biz?

Just trying to scrape myself back together, and still not sure I'm out of my depressed spell. I'm working on it, though. Definitely working. I'll try and write more as it comes to me. Right now, I've discovered Finder which is precisely up my alley.

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