seidskratti: More batshit than Dracula's castle (Batshit)
Okay. I know. I haven't posted in a while. Life's just been... argh. I've either been sick (was in the hospital Wednesday getting poked and scanned to test for appendicitis because of the Return of Son of Abdominal Pain of Doom) and/or stressed, or trying to work my tail off (writing, mostly) and not getting around to posting, or being online much at all.

I can't even think of what's been going on, right now. I've been trying really hard to work on the Caliborn/Zak story and got around 10k words in, but I totally lost it today. I think I know a way to do it better, but I also think I just don't have the skill.

My problem is, I need to find a story that I like enough to keep me interested but that isn't so dear to my heart that I feel like I can't write it well enough and get super-critical. All the stories I've finished seem to fall into that range, but they're hard to come by.

I sorta want to write about aliens, or else some very foreign future human culture.

My paid time is about to expire, but I'm being so antisocial lately that I'm not sure it's worth renewing.

Also, I am going insane, but that's nothing new.
seidskratti: (To do today)
I haven't really been online much lately, which is a change from being glued to my screen all the time like I mostly have been for the last year. I have a cold, and I've gone completely insane, and my compulsion to avoid people is outweighing my Internet addiction.

I've spent the last two days cleaning, eating, sleeping, and playing Oblivion, pretty much. A little reading. Some random quips on Twitter.

Oblivion is the mother of all games full of too many side-areas and sidequests and stuff. I'm like "OH WELL, I GUESS HELL IS JUST GOING TO WIN BECAUSE I HAVE THE NERDY COMPULSION TO EXPLORE EVERY CAVE INSTEAD OF CONTINUING THIS URGENT QUEST" but dark elves have pretty skin. Actually, my dark elf is just pretty. I actually restarted today because my first character was mostly melee and he was getting assraped by all the things that throw fireballs. And he was taking way too long to level up. Now I'm playing a mostly-mage, and all is well. I should've taken acrobatics as a class skill, though, since I jump when I'm bored and that skill is climbing up there. I can probably blame WoW for that.

Not much else, really, unless you like stories of shampooing carpet or atypical mental illness. I feel guilty about not doing my normal online stuff, but that isn't outweighing the social anxiety at the moment. I'm going through one of those periods where I'm just trying to survive, and even that seems almost too tough, sometimes.
seidskratti: Dead man. (HNN)
Today started pretty awfully. Slept until almost 3pm (because I hadn't gone to bed until almost 7am. Sleep schedule is ruined at the moment), woke up cold and tired and grumpy. One of my triops had mortally wounded another one, too, so I'm down to two three-eyed mutant space-crustaceans now. When I let my puppy out, she attacked one of the young chickens and got her cornered into a tight little space under the house. Bruised/scraped my arm all to hell rescuing the stupid bird while the dog kept trying to pull out her feathers. When the puppy is intent on something--like chasing animals--she completely stops listening to commands, including "No." Frustrating enough that we're talking about muzzling her while she's outside just so she can't bite things. She'll probably still chase them and get them stuck, though... I don't know. Later, I felt exhausted and almost had a panic attack just because I utterly couldn't concentrate. I probably need to be on ADD meds again, but that means going to the doctor, which means making an appointment and finding some way to get to it and... nng. I just need a car. Or a motorcycle! But the motorcycle got given away and the two cars sitting out there don't run. We just have non-running cars parked in front of the shed like proper rednecks.

Things got a little better in the evening, pretty much after I had my first dose of caffeine for the day.  Got the Dreamwidth account and screwed around with it, rp'ed the Magnificent Bastard a little bit and drank more tea.

I'm really behind in my writing. I've been working through some writing excercises from a book, but skipped doing it yesterday and I still haven't done it today, either, even though it's nearing 3am. I have a novelette (Chosen Duties) likely sitting in the slush pile at Asimov's at the moment, so that's good, but my other "completed" story (Sanctuary, which is kinda... uh... post-apocalyptic romance) is still in draft stage. There's plot problems that I'm not sure how to fix and while other people really like the concept, I'm still not that fond. If anyone out there wants to give it a readthrough and see if you notice anything that others have missed, let me know.  I always appreciate critique.

I have a couple more stories on the drawing board. One is taking a lot of research which I'm slowly but surely getting through, the other just stems from a character (Simon) that really grabbed me. I just need to sit down and write. And not get distracted by shiny things or frustrated by... frustrating things.

Feeling physically  a bit better today, though, aside from fatigue. Maybe whatever's wrong with me is going away again?

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