seidskratti: (To do today)
I haven't really been online much lately, which is a change from being glued to my screen all the time like I mostly have been for the last year. I have a cold, and I've gone completely insane, and my compulsion to avoid people is outweighing my Internet addiction.

I've spent the last two days cleaning, eating, sleeping, and playing Oblivion, pretty much. A little reading. Some random quips on Twitter.

Oblivion is the mother of all games full of too many side-areas and sidequests and stuff. I'm like "OH WELL, I GUESS HELL IS JUST GOING TO WIN BECAUSE I HAVE THE NERDY COMPULSION TO EXPLORE EVERY CAVE INSTEAD OF CONTINUING THIS URGENT QUEST" but dark elves have pretty skin. Actually, my dark elf is just pretty. I actually restarted today because my first character was mostly melee and he was getting assraped by all the things that throw fireballs. And he was taking way too long to level up. Now I'm playing a mostly-mage, and all is well. I should've taken acrobatics as a class skill, though, since I jump when I'm bored and that skill is climbing up there. I can probably blame WoW for that.

Not much else, really, unless you like stories of shampooing carpet or atypical mental illness. I feel guilty about not doing my normal online stuff, but that isn't outweighing the social anxiety at the moment. I'm going through one of those periods where I'm just trying to survive, and even that seems almost too tough, sometimes.
seidskratti: I can see beauty where others see ugliness. That either makes me an artist, or a person of very poor taste. --Anonymous (Beauty)
A little depressed, very introspective. I feel a little like some of these thoughts are something I should type up for others' reference, especially if I'm going to try and get a shrink to help me figure myself out. I don't have the clarity of thought to put it into nice words and sentences and paragraphs. Strange brain I have, or so it seems to me. Perhaps I just look at it funny.

Will try to make some kind of actual post on the subject. Sorry I've been so socially absent, lately, just haven't really felt like smalltalk or anything. I never really do, but it's worse right now.

Just been doing chores and playing FFVI, screwing around at the end of the game. I don't want to go get skills for Gau and Strago, even though I used Gau a lot in the World of Balance... I got distracted and read a bit of dialog from the end that isn't in the shitty SNES translation I'm playing, and it sparks all sorts of slashy Shadow ideas that really shouldn't exist. I am not a fanfic writer. I am not a fanfic writer. I will repeat that until they go away.

On that note, I'm going to try some sleep. I hear it's good for you.
seidskratti: Nothing is static, everything is evolving, everything is falling apart. (Default)
Slept for 10 hours or so today but still managed to do things, even if I was lazy.

Gloves for airship pirate outfit done, finally. Fingerless, thin black fleece. No effort, just kept forgetting. I want to prance around in my steampunk clothes, but I lack a place to do it. I kinda lack real-life socialization in general, right now. Completely.

Spent an hour or so trying to catch Dima, one of the new horses. The other, Bella, is very friendly and very assertive, which is a pain when the shy, younger horse is trying to come see me and the other is biting her and chasing her off. This is tough because Dima has to be caught, since we have to medicate her eye twice daily--she had a corneal ulcer that she's recovering from. Both these girls are rescues, and Dima definitely shows it. She's skinny, shy, and covered in scabs. Bleh. We need a round pen. We also need a bigger barn. And more time. I need lots more time. I'll try to post horse pictures as soon as I have them. My mother has taken a few, I think, but they're on her phone.

Was surprised by an unexpected dinner guest who is a very sweet old southern lady but whom I find pretty unpleasant to be around because of her very contrary political views, rampant racism, and the way she treats me. Pretty much the same reasons I don't enjoy my stepdad's company, actually, except she's just techno-illiterate, not afraid of any advancements.

Playing Final Fantasy VI (III US) again. I've never actually beaten it. Trying to change that this time. I just wanted something that had enough of a plot to keep me distracted so I won't keep thinking about the bad things in my life right now. I haven't written today and I don't feel like it. Maybe I'll get more done... I don't know. Also haven't felt much like RP, probably because I've barely had enough uninterrupted time to even think about it, or when I do, no one's on. I don't even really feel guilty for not being on TK right now, which is unusual. Maybe I'll end up leaving like I end up leaving everywhere. :| It isn't that I'm not having fun, I suppose, it's just not what I feel like at the moment. I don't know what I do feel like. Which is pretty much the story of my life.

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