Jun. 16th, 2009

seidskratti: Let's make better mistakes tomorrow. (Better Mistakes)
So I met a girl that I kinda used to know ages ago, though we really drifted apart (understatement), and she's really helping me get my shit together and believe that I might actually still have a future. Or maybe it's just approaching mania again. I'm not sure.

I think a lot of my problem is just that I try to avoid everything that's difficult to deal with, even when those difficult-to-deal-with things are a part of me. Hopefully I can live less in denial of who I am, even if I'm not open about it to others.

On a sorta-unrelated note, I'm applying to the local community college for fall. Hopefully this time I'll get my crap together and go to school instead of running away. It also means somehow finding a car and getting my license before August. This partially depends on my parents, but my mom's promised me a car, since they gave my sister one when she was a teenager... and because my mom's gotten thousands of dollars in child support for me, even when I wasn't living with them, and she feels sorta guilty about that, so is willing to shell out money for a car (and cheap tuition). Which is, I suppose, reason to stay. If I get a car, and am going to school and can find a doctor and a job, then I think I could actually survive here. :P Trying to make steps towards all of those, if I can get over my damned pessimism and social anxiety. We shall see.

Right. Dumped the surface of my brainpool into cyberspace for the random anonymous hordes. Now, I'm going to bed.



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