Jun. 8th, 2009

seidskratti: Nothing is static, everything is evolving, everything is falling apart. (Default)
Well, it was last weekend of the Georgia Renaissance Festival, and we went as patrons and I had a rather unpleasant time. Saturday was okay. I wore street clothes, except that in the afternoon I put on elf ears and wandered around causing drunks to do double-takes. I think drinking first thing helped, because it kills some of my social anxiety. Sigh. I don't drink much, still, but I've been drinking a lot more lately and I sometimes worry it's too much. Lots of alcoholics on my dad's side. Anyway. Saturday wasn't bad. Got henna'd, too, an attempt at the design I want inked.

Sunday was. I picked out some pieces for a cooler outfit than the steampunk monstrosity (though it'll still match) in exchange for doing some work. Not bad at all, considering the pants I got were $75 washable silk. Changing clothes, I put my arm down on a bee and got stung. Ow. Also got a bit overheated. Later that evening, just before pub sing, I sat down on a nail and tore the $75 pants. gnar. Also, there was just a lot of talk from people who knew me when I was someone else, and even my mom screwing up and saying things I'd rather she wouldn't.. I expect it out of my stepdad, but it hurts when she does.

Anyway. Very glad to be home. I'm not sure I want to go back to GARF. Not like this, at least. Not with them. I want to get out of here, and the temptation to just run away somewhere without the promise of a job or place to live is more and more tempting. I hate feeling trapped. It makes me desperately depressed and think unpleasant things.

Could probably write more, but I can't get my thoughts straight. Everyone wants to RP with me, but I'm just a mess. Still. And I can't even blame it on other people this time. I sorta want to just hide from everyone.

Also, happy birthday to [profile] edgeraven , who is all legal and stuff now.

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